Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
