I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
