Sry I called you an 8
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
