Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
