She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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