I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
