It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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