I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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