Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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