That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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