he wants to bone in the snuggie
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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