Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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