Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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