First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
