She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
