I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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