Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
