We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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