so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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