the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
