drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
