mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
time to smoke my breakfast
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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