Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
