Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
