I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
