so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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