Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
