i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
