jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
