Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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