Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
