If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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