I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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