There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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