I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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