I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
