Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
