I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
How's work?
Spinning.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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