i think my mom watched the whole time
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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