yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
