There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
