dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
