i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
