I'm sorry my penis didn't work
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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