it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
