Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
