that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
