The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
