so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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