they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
