If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
